circle of friends

In today's fast-paced life, men have less time to go out and meet new people. If they live in large cities, there is no sense of community and meeting new people is often the result of pure circumstance. The women that men meet and eventually go out with usually result from work encounters or friends setting them up on blind dates. Some relationships develop through sheer luck, but most of them stem from a circle of friends.

Sometimes men can be a little too kind and introduce friends to women that they have their eye on themselves. This situation happens often, and is one that I once found myself in. Three years ago I had a female friend that I was very fond of, but I never asked her out on a date because I was too shy (can you imagine that?). It wasn't so much shyness, but rather the thought of the repercussions of an unsuccessful date on our friendship. Instead I found it a lot easier to introduce her to my best friend.

I figured that I could have a relationship with this girl vicariously through my friend. If it worked out, it would feel as though I myself was dating her -- though I have to admit, I never thought their relationship would go very far.

It didn't take long for me to question my decision. Life without risk is not worth living, and I came to the conclusion that if she rejected me, I would eventually move on. Now I was in a precarious situation: should I ask her out and risk losing a friend, or should I just forget the whole idea?

To make a long story short, I forgot about it while their relationship flourished. They dated for two years, but eventually she and my best friend broke up. The problem remained that I was still interested in her even though she had just broken up with my friend.